In sickness and in health/ 20 days no run
Given that this is a 100 day challenge… missing 20 days training through work, holiday and now my chest means I’ve effectively lost one fifth of my training…
I expected this to be hard but there are so many layers to doing something like this. There is the challenge of keeping working hours realistic, especially in the run up to the conclusion of this project at work which ends on the 31st March- where I can’t seem to leave work on time- even when I get in early. There is the challenge of trying to raise funds and then there is the added pressure of writing and updating this blog. Obviously, the intention of posting something everyday so that there would be 100 entries in the run up to the marathon, is out the window. And this is how it happens. How expectations and ambitions slowly erode into something more manageable. More real…but slightly less than what it could have been. Something slightly anti-climatic. All those challenges are very real pull and pushes in my world but there is obviously one glaring absent challenge- the actual running itself.
Simply, because I haven’t run. I haven’t really blogged either. So, what have I done? Well, I got the job I wanted- which is one huge weight off my mind, and I am more relieved as I’m not sure how I would cope looking for a new job, whilst trying to train.. not that I’ve done much training, mind…
This will hopefully be my final entry of this nature. If I can sleep tonight without trying to recreate my lung on my pillow, then as of tomorrow, I’ll be running home from the tube station- which should be about a 3 mile run and then I will drop my bag off and carry on to do my ‘usual’ 6 mile route… if I do that for 2 weeks then maybe I will be able to run my half marathon without stopping (my goal)… but then I get freaked out by being told that I shouldn’t. It’s just that I really feel totally fine otherwise. It’s just this stupid cough that is worse in the evenings and morning. It’s not even as bad as it used to be…. arghhhh!!! I never thought I’d actually get frustrated about not being able to run… what is happening to me?? Where am I?
I think I’ll have another chocolate left over from lunch with Becca and Sue…good times, Becca even said she’d given up smoking- partly motivated by me doing this marathon melarkey. How cool is that though? What is true though is that, like when I spoke to Fee and realised that I could do something different, it’s like a trap door- there is another world, and once you see one person fall through, human curiosity naturally makes us all want to look through too. The only difference is that what lies on the other side is as individual as us all. For me it was the marathon, for Becca is was quitting smoking- everyone has something they need just a push for. I mustn’t forget that- because that is what makes me run- not because I enjoy it, but because I don’t. It’s proving to myself that I am the master of my journey and the master of my destination.
Now, if only I can get rid of this cough than I can rule the world. 🙂 (PS: I do see the lesson in the fact that I can’t control my cough/ health/ accidents/ weather and that being master is only an illusion- but as with anything- it’s all about it being a good story. Because life is nothing, if not our own version of fiction!