Perspective and perseverance
I have Sunday blues on Monday night…tomorrow morning is a 6am 6 mile run before a long day at work. I need to conquer this bitching, whining tendency and accept that it is my choice. If I want to finish the marathon running than I need to put the effort in. Thing is that bitching whining nature of mine who we shall call Joan (Joan the moan with a voice like Joan Rivers) will also say to me in the morning- you don’t HAVE to finish the marathon running. I mean, loads of people will be walking it. People who had more than 100 days notice about entering the marathon. And the thing is with Joan, is she is vicious and so I will believe her. I guess by externalising that personality trait I can be objective about it. Well that’s the psycho analysis theory.
It goes further: Twitter world is fast becoming addictive and also equally and worryingly demotivating for me. Winning approval and following from strangers is actually a very perverse practise. It just serves as an ego trip and fall. I got unfollowed by someone and I was actually deeply offended. Have you ever heard of anything more bizarre? Ok, maybe not deeply offended- but I noticed! How sad is that? Unfollowing someone is as significant as not everyone getting off at the same tube stop as me, and then me taking offense at the audacity of someone not being wowed by my tweeting prowess or clambering off to walk with me to work. Which to be fair is (and should) only be of intense interest to me. But on the flip side, it is really nice to speak to people who are also overwelmed by the London Marathon and the full reality of it. So it’s a catch 22 that again needs the balance.
So, now that I have put that into perspective, I can return to putting tomorrow and my attitude in place. Right, I enjoy running once I am out and about. The spring flowers are gorgeous at the moment. It gives me a good adrenaline boost in the morning, but most importantly, I will regret more NOT going than going. I have the opportunity to do something like running in a world famous event. I am asking people to go out of their way to support me and to then not put the effort in because I’d rather sleep is a little rude, really.
I entered this to change myself. To make me realise what dedication is. And also to find out whether I still have in me something that earned me my very first (and still proudest) certificate. Some kiddies get it for maths, not me, some kiddies get them for academics or dramatics, not me. Some kiddies even get it for watering the plant for the teacher, not me. I got a certificate for perserverance. I guess the teachers were scrapping the barrel, but nonetheless, it still a certificate. Which I still have! So it goes to show, followers and admirers are fleeting, I can’t even remember which teacher gave me the certificate. All I remember is that I got it and that I must have done something to show I can and will perserve.
So, Joan can moan, and twits can tweet, but there is a 6 year old’s first certificate that shows I can do this, I will do this and if I want to look forward to running, then I will! 3 mornings this week I will be running and I WILL perserve and spend less angst on twitter feeds and following! Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
– Walter Elliott
…oooh look a new tweet. 🙂